Being with Feelings

I think another interesting aspect of this topic of managing the second stream of attention, (in other words, your own internal narrative), and what's happening for you as you listen to someone else is particularly interesting when we look at the component of feelings. I remember Nancy Kline teaching me very early on in my journey of learning to become a Thinking Environment teacher, that we can be with the expression of another person's feelings to the extent that we can be with our own expression of that feeling in ourselves. So for example, if you're comfortable with your own tears, you'll probably find it relatively easy to be comfortable with the tears of another. If you're not comfortable, for example, with your own expression of anger, you will find it difficult to listen to somebody if they're feeling very angry, and they're releasing the anger that they're feeling around whatever topic it is that they're exploring. So I think it's interesting. First of all, when we think about managing that second stream of attention and becoming comfortable with what it is that's happening inside our own selves, as we listen to someone else, so that it doesn't distract us from being able to stay generative in the attention that we're offering, I think it's interesting to explore our own relationship to feelings. And this in a way relates for me to the personal development journey that one goes on in order to become good at being a thinking partner. Because if you're not comfortable with your own feelings, you will find yourself losing your centre, losing your capacity to be able to generate the component of ease, for example, if you're in the presence of somebody's expression of their own feelings, and particularly if the expression of those feelings is, is strong.

To find out more, watch my YouTube video on "Being with Feelings."

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